Dealing With Denying Force

My momma never told me “Life is like a box of chocolates,” but she has told me repeatedly that when you want to make a positive change in your life, it’s very common to hit some kind of resistance or “denying force,” as if the Universe is saying “Really? Are you sure you want that?”

Wherever you want to go next, there’s a process for getting there, and that process includes moving through challenges:


1. Affirming “This is what I want!”

2. Denying “Here’s what’s in the way.”

3. Achieving “I got what I want, now what’s next?” 


Here’s an example from my own life…

It started out with celebrating how I was having the most relaxed and pleasurable launch ever.

That was the affirming phase, “This is what I want… to inspire thousands of entrepreneurs all over the world through this launch while still taking amazing care of myself and having a fabulous life outside of work.”

Then came the denying force…

Shortly after the launch started, I was hit with a ridiculous number of tech issues:

• My website crashing… repeatedly

• My e-mail addresses randomly not working all of a sudden

• People getting two confirmation e-mails when they sign up for my paid offer… one of them wrong

• My video player malfunctioning and getting a gazillion e-mails about how my videos weren’t working

• Having the wrong web form on one of my sites so people were getting the wrong information 

For one of my training calls, we ran into a scheduling challenge and had to pre-record the training. Then we ran into a tech challenge… the platform I was using didn’t let you broadcast pre-recorded presentations that had slides, which this one did.

Here’s the good news… while I did feel irritated at times, I didn’t freak out. I didn’t abandon my self-care practices. I just kept moving forward. And I was really proud of myself for that.

I wanted to share this with you because this is the kind of stuff that other experts don’t often talk about. 

If you’ve hit denying force (and if you’ve run into challenges with technology), you are not alone. And you haven’t failed or done anything wrong. This is just part of the growth process. So take a deep breath and keep moving forward.

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Penelope Jane Smith is the premier financial freedom coach for women entrepreneurs and the go-to expert for some of the biggest names in the conscious business industry. More about Penelope. 


  1. Cindy James on March 10, 2021 at 2:24 am

    Wow, you’re blog about the denying force is right on for what I am experiencing at this moment! Thank you so much. I am breathing freely again.

    • Penelope Jane Smith on March 10, 2021 at 4:33 am

      Thanks so much for sharing, Cindy! May you relax into your new level of awesomeness.

  2. TailWaggingWellness on August 12, 2022 at 4:31 pm

    I like the perspective that it is the universe just checking in on your commitment!

  3. Vanessa Nixon on August 14, 2022 at 12:30 am

    I definitely resonate with this! Thanks for helping us to reframe the resistance piece!

    • Kicki on August 15, 2022 at 3:31 am

      Always focus on that you want! ❤

  4. Skywalker Payne on August 17, 2022 at 7:58 pm

    Thank you. I’ve been combatting the denying force periodically and this has been one of those times. It’s when I remember to practice what I tell others smile, breathe deeply, and be grateful. Now, I’m grateful to you for giving a name to the only enemy I have, the denying force.

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